Movies are crap:
I was thinking on the way into work today about how most romantic comedies, or chick flicks seem, in my opinion, to be destroying the culture of the US. I'll explain before there is mass-hysteria, have no fear.
Men and women grow up watching thousands of movies and TV shows that depict weddings and marriages to be these idyllic, blissful events during which nothing really goes wrong (With the possible exception of bizarre bachelor or bachelorette party mishaps) . As people grow into adulthood being fed such a steady diet of deceit and misinformation they begin to accept that as the norm. As a culture everyone expects to get "married and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER." Depending on where you look, you'll get different answers, but it seems that most divorces occur within 5 years of the wedding. And something like 50% of marriages end in divorce. Come on people. It seems that the expectation of what marriage is comes into direct conflict with the reality of marriage.
You would think that the trend for the young of America: living together before marriage, would decrease those figures, but it doesn't seem like it. It seems like it doesn't change those number at all.
The theme of this whole post is this: Marriage is hard work, and it is continual. It is something that both people need to work at for the rest of their time together. There is no end point in the future in which you won't have to be considerate of your spouse's feelings, or consult before making big decisions. There will never come a time when you won't need to care about their physical well-being, or care about whether they are just plain happy. There shouldn't be a time when a nicety is taken for granted, or one person takes all the (for lack of a better word) limelight. (Actually, I think that the Eastern Philosophies of Chi might be more appropriate in that phrase, but it might disturb some people's sense of the universe.)
It seems to me that even in marriage, both people are changing. We are always changing. As long as we are breathing and moving, our person's are in flux. You just need to include your partner in the transitions. Holding hands generally means that you don't loose contact, in more ways then one (Tim's deep thought for the day).
It is a commitment that it seems that most people don't seem to grasp at the outset, and therefore just drop like a hot potato when it becomes too much work for them. In the past when the divorce rate was a fraction of what it is today, the world was a completely different place. Women were traditionally dependent on their spouse's income for sole support. The societal and cultural mores were entirely different about acceptable behavior, divorce didn't happen back then. Infidelity, I would imagine, must have been just as frequent as today, it just wasn't discussed by people or the media.
In conclusion, there might be a lot less of a "culture-shock" or "reality-check" of movies and other popular forms of media didn't only show such a flowery, lopsided version of reality. There is something to be said for other countries that had media literacy as part of school curriculums beginning in the first grade. But then I guess you don't make money by telling people the truth, you tell them what they want to hear.
Men and women grow up watching thousands of movies and TV shows that depict weddings and marriages to be these idyllic, blissful events during which nothing really goes wrong (With the possible exception of bizarre bachelor or bachelorette party mishaps) . As people grow into adulthood being fed such a steady diet of deceit and misinformation they begin to accept that as the norm. As a culture everyone expects to get "married and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER." Depending on where you look, you'll get different answers, but it seems that most divorces occur within 5 years of the wedding. And something like 50% of marriages end in divorce. Come on people. It seems that the expectation of what marriage is comes into direct conflict with the reality of marriage.
You would think that the trend for the young of America: living together before marriage, would decrease those figures, but it doesn't seem like it. It seems like it doesn't change those number at all.
The theme of this whole post is this: Marriage is hard work, and it is continual. It is something that both people need to work at for the rest of their time together. There is no end point in the future in which you won't have to be considerate of your spouse's feelings, or consult before making big decisions. There will never come a time when you won't need to care about their physical well-being, or care about whether they are just plain happy. There shouldn't be a time when a nicety is taken for granted, or one person takes all the (for lack of a better word) limelight. (Actually, I think that the Eastern Philosophies of Chi might be more appropriate in that phrase, but it might disturb some people's sense of the universe.)
It seems to me that even in marriage, both people are changing. We are always changing. As long as we are breathing and moving, our person's are in flux. You just need to include your partner in the transitions. Holding hands generally means that you don't loose contact, in more ways then one (Tim's deep thought for the day).
It is a commitment that it seems that most people don't seem to grasp at the outset, and therefore just drop like a hot potato when it becomes too much work for them. In the past when the divorce rate was a fraction of what it is today, the world was a completely different place. Women were traditionally dependent on their spouse's income for sole support. The societal and cultural mores were entirely different about acceptable behavior, divorce didn't happen back then. Infidelity, I would imagine, must have been just as frequent as today, it just wasn't discussed by people or the media.
In conclusion, there might be a lot less of a "culture-shock" or "reality-check" of movies and other popular forms of media didn't only show such a flowery, lopsided version of reality. There is something to be said for other countries that had media literacy as part of school curriculums beginning in the first grade. But then I guess you don't make money by telling people the truth, you tell them what they want to hear.
posted by Tim @ 7:12 PM
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